Keeping faith in a jar.
by Trivher
Summary: So Weird will never be the same after you see it through the eyes of Molly Phillips.
1. Love

Guess what

Guess what!Yep that's right I have a yellow shirt on.Boy you're good.Well if you also guessed that I don't own these characters or the show that is also correct.But you only get half a point because that wasn't the quote on quote correct answer. 

Chapter 1.

At first there was Rick, my first and only taste of true love; that was destroyed.Then I went through the whole men suck stage!Hey I had my heart ripped out, if one did that what's to stop it from happening again?Ok I know dying wasn't Rick's idea he hadn't committed suicide or anything.But still one can't help but to feel some anger and resortment towards the situation.So I was to be lonely widow with two kids for the rest of my life and that was just fine by me.

Then I meet Dennis.Dennis McWeizer.We worked at the ad agency.I didn't like him at first, I hated him.Thought he was God's personal gift to all women, talked too much on shit he really knew nothing about.But once you got past all that he was really quite decent.Started as getting coffee together on breaks, meeting have hours for dinner, until we were in full-blown relationship.Jack was scared of him, in the sense that Dennis was taking his daddy's place, and he wasn't ready for that.He feared that if he accepted Dennis he would be telling Rick's memory it meant nothing to him.I had talked to him about it, but he never quite ease into the situation.On the other hand Fi adored him.Always desperate for a male role model to play around with her.Ned had been that for her, just it wasn't the same.Because she knew even at a young age Ned could never be her daddy but Dennis could.

Five months later we ended the relationship, he likes to call it mutual decision, but I kicked his ass out.He was cheating on me, actually I was the "other women" not that it really matters.I thought it did at a point, not anymore.Once again I decided to swear off men and forever this time around.And I did; almost.I dated on and off through the years, the shortest being with Raymond, I don't think I ever learned his last name we lasted for 35 minutes.The longest was Trent Miller a grand total of three months.I always found an excuse to leave; I couldn't risk falling in love like I had with Rick and Dennis.As a mother I couldn't allow my children to go through that again.


	2. After meetings

I think that this Nelly chick is annoying

I think that this Nelly chick is annoying!These So Weird characters which sadly are not mine are the exact opposite of annoying.Don't you agree?

Chapter 2.

The music and concerts start up again, which turned into another consisant memory of Rick and I.I dealt ok with those feelings of being watched while playing our songs.Happy.I was actually completely, with no more fake smiles happy.It was the music that did it.I found myself again, grew as a parent and overall as a person.It was great.On occusation guys would stop by after the shows, want to talk and what not.I won't touch the subject of what exactly what not involves.The talking I was all right with, it made me feel special.The conversations usually never past the, "Hi I like your music" stage, which last a few minutes.But I found him to be extra cute and if I had the time I would try to stretch the meeting just a little bit longer.However those mysterious strangers aren't all their cracked up to be at times.

Take Lal Nereus for example.One of those just got to say after the concert types and I thought he was cute.So I didn't try running being rude or snobbish to get him to leave.He was all I could think about, left with a feeling inside that Dennis and not even Rick had given me.It scared me. After one meeting I was certain I was in love, foolish I know.The largest pearl I have ever seen was given to me by him, he couldn't just have a simple crush to give something that fancy.Deeper in love I feel and I had only said five words to him!Lal taught me so much in one afternoon at the aquarium, things I had learned in school but until then held nothing to me.When I kissed him, oh my god!Talk about an electric, fire works exploding reaction.I swear it was his eyes; they were magnets drawing me to be near him.I let my guard down more than I care to that evening, but I must admit a part of me wishes it wasn't swimming we had done; if you get my drift.

Of course Jack didn't like Lal.At this age shouldn't he over the whole jealousy stage?I guess he was trying to play the roll of loving son and keep a close eye on me.I would quickly learn Jack had reason to be iffy of Lal.He was first class jerk!Trying to get me to leave everything, including my kids at a whims moment.Then of course there was the whole thing of him pushing Jack off the pier.I never saw Lal after that moment.At sometimes I feel sad over that, I never was able to figure out exactly who or what he was.


	3. Blockage

I love grape juice especially the white kind

I love grape juice especially the white kind.Yum yum yum!I do think I love the show which this story is based off even more though.But sadly I can't buy So Weird in a store.Or can I?

Chapter 3.

Why couldn't I keep people in my life?What was it about me that had everyone slip away?I should of realized when Rebecca had vanished I was in store for a life of pain.But wasn't this past the definition of cruel?I couldn't hold onto a friend, men, and worst of all my kids.Running away with permission, still running though, Fiona left.Had my push her trying to be something she wasn't too much?Should I have let her do, as she wants just forgetting the act she was just like her dad?No.I lost him because I had tried too late to stop it.So I pushed and pulled at Fi, just to lose her too, but in another way.

That protective layer of skin was spread on again, like a sunscreen lotion.The happy smile had faded into the fake kind again.But no one seemed to notice that.Not surprising though, I have been putting on this show for years.Tickets weren't selling and a few shows were cancelled all together.That just did wonders for my self-esteem!Wait what self-esteem?I swear I was born without one.I would love to know why I agreed to take Annie under my wing.Perhaps it was because I was afraid I'd lose another friend in Lisa if I had declined.Annie is a good kid just I can barely take care of myself and my own kid, let alone an almost complete stranger.Listening to her sing and perform on the stage I'm reminded that I'm old and leaning on the has been door.I'm not ready just to be a name in a quiz show question.

Irene will often jokingly complain about Ned, like must couples do I suppose.Things like how she wish she could trade him in for a newer model.He never listens, and so forth.I wish she could see how lucky she is.I mean only if she could see her situation and life through my eyes, then she'd know how blessed she is.I was over at their house a few days ago, they were such a normal functioning family it almost made me quezy.Watching their sons I couldn't help but to wish my kids got along that well.Jack and Fi do get along but there's a fence blocking one another to completely in.


	4. Times are a changin'

I believe in a lot of stuff

I believe in a lot of stuff.Some you might believe in too others you may not.I do however think that we all be in agreement that So Weird and all it's great actors/actress are wonderful!I know I wish I owned them but some things aren't possible in this sad world.

Chapter – 4.

Have you ever seen someone or known somebody for as long as you remember, then suddenly it's like your seeing if for the first time?That feeling was coming to me and not for an ideal circumstance.I mean this had the potential to kill what was left of my soul, I didn't want that.I would be laughed at, lose my family and friends, and sink down so deep that I would never pull myself out.And why now, how can I one day barely able to tolerate him and the next I'm acting like a 10 year old in a record shop.It was purely ridiculous.Still whenever I think of him I can't help but to start to smile.Was it love?Strong like or even simple form of like?I would like to know why I do things like this to myself; there will be never be a me and him.Even though the idea is driving me insane, inhabiting my every thought, I won't do it.Plus I'm sure he hates me.

Clu invited Jack to visit his dorm for the weekend; I gave him the OK on the trip.It would be a trial run for me, see how I handle being a part from him.Because in a few short months the moment I feared since the day the doctor placed him in my arms would be here; high school graduation.Starting college moving out and all things children dream of and parents dread.I'm proud of both my kids, so intelligent; caring along with so many other words it would take 20 reams of paper to get them all down.My parents or I should say my dad would be unable to fill two lines of generous thoughts towards me.That man is incapable of showing any true emotion.Sometimes I think my trouble with my non-self confidence and bouts of depression started because of him.That's why I always praise and reassure my children that I care about them.

My favorite place to be is in the love seat of the living room.Curled with a good book or no book at all, the reading didn't make it wonderful.I face it away from the television towards the window instead.Something that must sound strange to hear now a days.I hate the window of this house, there's no view.I want the ranch house back!I let everyone, myself included believe I sold it to move on with my life.Maybe that's part of the reason but the real one is I couldn't afford it.Not with the poor concert out turns, that place is big lots of light switches, faucets which kill the bills.The view at this place is impersonal and looks at the house across the street.At a house where I never talked or seen the inhabits of it.Or any of the homes around here.


	5. Deadlines and visits.

Cheese in a can is good

Cheese in a can is good.Don't let anyone tell you differently!Writing stories about characters you don't own are good as well.More should do it!

Chapter 5.

4 new songs.How am I suppose to write four songs in one weekend!?I enjoy writing lyrics but the process takes a long time and 48 hours doesn't cut it for me.Irene feels as if we need a new edge because obviously the stuff were sticking without isn't doing much.Is she accepting me to whip out a pop sounding melody that will get radio play just because it sounds like everything else out there?The stuff that Annie does?I love the kid I really do and she has talent but she should focus her talents on something that will last for a while.Pop songs for the must part won't be remembered in a few years.I suppose I could help her out with it, but I don't have the energy or the desire.I just want to know why Irene dropped this on me at the last moment; maybe she figured the extra pressure would be a help.Not like it ever as been in the past.

Just my chair, an empty house and me.With Jack done with Clu, Annie going to the Asunment Park with Chelsea it would be desalit around here.Finally!Every parents dreams and prays for just a few hours without any children around; like children pray for moments to be a part from their parents.Nothing is on TV anymore, 100 plus channels and all pure crap!Even classic shows like I love Lucy has seemed to lost its appeal.I used to think about getting into acting, Broadway stuff, but never had the guts to try.Carey is now hanging out with a theater crowd, against the grain of society and the trends.They are all nice people but I think a few of them might be homosexuals especially the boys.Nothing is wrong with that just Carey never seemed to me to be the type to be seen with that.But I should know by now to except the unexpected out of this world.All of them are heading up for New York to catch a show.A waste of money especially for him, drives all night, rest for a few hours, sees the show and drive back.Rehearsal on Monday is stopping him from extending the trip.Sometimes I will never understand him.But just like my kids and Annie I love him.

I couldn't believe it!He was coming here on such short notice, not one of his usual habits.No he couldn't do this to me!I'm a mess, my hair well I'm not going to touch the subject of my hair.Maybe it's just my imagination, God I hope it is!But I swear I'm going gray.Going gray is for middle-aged women with teenage kids.I might fit that category but my apprence sure doesn't need to reflect it.I have nothing to wear in the past I won't of cared of what he thought of my out fits, now that I have discovered I'm in love with him the whole story has changed.I would want something attectiave to make him look at me with a sparkle in his eye.But not so sexy that our visit turns into a NC-17 picture.I swear life was so much simpler when I was four.The day I turned five was when things started going down hill.


	6. Days of the week

3 paragraphs, seemed like a good limit at a time

3 paragraphs, seemed like a good limit at a time.Now I'm rethinking that.But not enough to stop. LOL.Some things in life should make you rub your chin and go hummm I wonder?I wonder if Disney likes me or any of us writing these fics?

Chapter 6.

I always think about Rick on Thursdays.I hate Thursdays now.This was family day; family togetherness activities only, just like in cheesy 50 style situation comedies.No TV was allowed on that day.Instead it was games usually of Monopoly, Scrabble, or Candy Land.Talking and sharing about our week of course Fi didn't have much to share at that stage of her young life.Now whenever Thursday's come around I get sad and angry.I get sad and angry everyday, but on this day it's a different level of those emotions.Sadness because Rick isn't here to continue the tradition on; I had tried just my heart wasn't into it.Mainly because all Jack tried to talk about was his daddy, still young and trying to fully comprehend the true meaning of death.The angry comes through because I know that even if Rick was alive we won't have Thursday tradition, both the kids would find it babyish and refuse to participate.For just one day, one hour I want everything the way it was.I'll even take one minute, one roll of the die with all four of us gathered around the table.

Silence.I still can't get used to it.It's such an eerie sound that puts your hair on it because you figure something bad will happen any second.Silence means everything is peaceful and times of peace don't last long.So you find yourself on edge waiting for the bomb to drop or in my case someone to yell across the rooms.The songs aren't in me; I hope Irene isn't too disappointed in me.What am I saying?I know she will be, the sweet spoken lecture of you just need to work harder, put some effort into will begin again.The same speech each time I swear every word is always exactly the same.If it didn't work the first 83 times will it this time?No, but I'm sure that won't stop her.

I wrote my first song when I was eight.At that time and a few years later I thought I was a genius and the noble peace prize of writing would be mine very soon.Just foolish dreams of stupid girls was all I had.I showed my 6th grade teacher it, the first grown up I ever let see it.She had torn it apart metaphorically and physically.Right there as I stood in horror unable to find words to tell her stop she ripped the paper apart.Saying I had more potential then this and childness like this won't get me anywhere.I wish I could remember how it went, make it a hit just to shove it in her face.But with my luck she's must likely dead.


	7. Leave and let live

Doe, a deer, a female deer

Doe, a deer, a female deer.Ray, a drop of golden sun.Me, a name I call myself.Far, a long, long way to run.Sew, a needle pulling thread,La, a note to follow sew,Tea, a drink with jam and bread!That will bring us back to do oh-oh-oh!Everybody now!Doe a deer….. Ok you in the back I can't hear you!That's better.Oh yeah and I still don't own the characters.Can you imagine that!?

Chapter 7.

I'm starting to wonder if Carey wants out of the band.He hasn't said anything or isn't acting any different the normal, it's just a feeling I'm getting.With him running around with the theater troupe I just can't help but to wonder.I never thought my come back tour or whatever the correct term should be, would last this long.I'm also surprised Carey hasn't walked up to me announcing his two-week notice.For the last month and half I ready myself for those words when he entered the room.Even though he still hasn't he will, he has too much to talent to waste it with me.I don't want to lose his talents and the joy of having a dear friend, I think I might though.Give him the boot for his own good to make sure he realizes his gift for music should be played with someone more worthy of his talents.I want to be the one to make the decision not on the heart broke side again.

Tired, I'm tired.Physically, emotional and in ways that I'm not sure even have terms.Nothing is the same, yet in another way nothing has really changed.Just little alterations which life tosses at you, things you barely notice while it's happening.But when you look back years or sometimes months later you can pinpoint the exact moment that everything went a stray from you.Rick used to tell me life doesn't have a map for people, the path and roads you travel are filled as you take steps.If that's true why did he turn in the other direction?If he had taken a left turn perhaps his map would of allowed him to live.Or maybe no matter where he turned, and even if he stood still he might still of died.Just not understanding, not having the absolute right answer is killing me inside and outside.

Disney cartoons, any cartoon actually it doesn't really matter.I wish life could be like that them.A simple struggle of men or women verses some kind of trial or tribulation.Doesn't let anyone knock them down, thinks outside the box, as Fi and Tad would like to say.And best of all the girl always gets and is allowed to keep the guy in the end.She doesn't get him for a few years and then receive a phone call in the middle night telling her he's dead.I still remember that call; can reaccount every word, the tone of her voice, the moment I felt my heart vanish.Jasmine didn't lose Aladdin, and Ariel didn't lose Eric.Lucky.


End file.
